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Rights

The other day I was thinking, dazed as I was from the fumes of the burning glue factory some careless soul chose to commit arson upon yet again, about majority rule, Congress and all that crap. Ok, so normally I would never think about such lameness but in this case something magically twisted occured to me.
People say that a small minority holds all the power and that most people don't really make a difference. I say that's damn true. Because, if you think about it, compared to all the people who've died, aren't we living people the minority?

Dead people are also banned from doing things like voting and inheriting fortunes. Like they can't have sex, even if they are above the age of consent. I think this is an outrage; dead people should be able to lead normal lives like the rest of us.

It's like, not that I want to stiff some stiffs myself or anything, no that's not me at all, what with all the grave digging and falling down and chipping one of my teeth on a headstone that one time and all. But, if you think of it through the point of view of the dead people, maybe they have needs too.

I mean, the dead can carry their weight. They can get jobs as crash test dummies, fertilizer, autopsy study subjects, and hookers. Especially with that last one; I mean they're stuck lying on their backs so what the hell else are they going to do? It's as if prostitution was a carreer created with dead people in mind. Or people with no arms and legs, they'd be good at it too.

Not that I'm into amputees or anything. No mater what anyone tells you.

Sometimes, though, I have wet dreams about chicks who I'm doing, but who I've lit on fire at the same time. I'm not sure if dreams are supposed to have hidden meanings or something but being ridden by a flaming chick really turns me on. I'm still looking for someone to consent to that, but you'd be surprised how many girls aren't into self-mutilation of that caliber. They're really stuck up around where I live, I guess.

My friend Ben says my dream is Freudian. I'm not sure what that means exactly but I think it means I'm in love with my mom. Well, really, I'm not, so I figure some day when Ben doesn't expect it I'll kick him in the nad's when he's talking to me, and I'll say "I bet Freud didn't see that coming!"

Yeah.

So anyway, it's good that I have people like you to share my thoughts with. It's a good way to vent, and it helps me deal with some issues in my life. Like one time...oh, that's a story for another day. Well anyway I'm still trying to deal with these weird images I'm getting in my dream, which if they are not being beamed to me by aliens then they must have some sort of hidden meaning I need to unlock. In the meantime, though, I'll stick to stealing food and lighting up that glue factory down the street.


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