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Darth Patrick faces the "Italian" Stallion!

Darth Patrick: you sorry son of a bitch

If you cybersex with my girlfriend again, I swear to god!

STALLION: shut up you piece of shit, SHE STARTED IT!!!!

Darth Patrick: you dirty canadian!

STALLION: who the fuck are you anyways?

Darth Patrick: that ian't none of your fucking business.
Now lay off my gf!

STALLION: well i have to know who she is first stupid!!

Darth Patrick: Samantha Mullet

STALLION: haha, tell her to lay off of me, she kept asking me to cyber and then some guy came on like her bro or something

Darth Patrick: IT WAS HER BRO

STALLION: ya thats what i said

Darth Patrick: he could kill ya

STALLION: anywayz she started it

Darth Patrick: ok... well, she's always been horny.

As long as you don't make her pregnant I suppose I don't care what the two of you do in your spare time

STALLION: where do i live?

STALLION: i mean where do u live?

Darth Patrick: good try, but I don't reveal my address to strangers

STALLION: ok whatever, just wondering

Darth Patrick: mmkay

STALLION: pardon?

Darth Patrick: nevermind

STALLION: she said she lives in seattle, i'm not sure if its true

Darth Patrick: it's true

STALLION: oh cool

Darth Patrick: no, it rains all the fucking time

STALLION: ya its been raining here too lately

Darth Patrick: ok whatever

Sam has nice boobies, for a 13 year old.

In 3 years, those boobs will be big as watermelons

STALLION: hahaaa, your funny

Darth Patrick: it's true. The next time I visit her, we're gonna have sex

STALLION: cool, have u b4?

Darth Patrick: hell no! she's been under-aged

but with other girls, yeah

STALLION: how old are you?

Darth Patrick: 16

STALLION: are you sure???

Darth Patrick: yes, the last time I counted I was 16

STALLION: oh, dont lie it says your 14 in your datails turning 15 soon

Darth Patrick: what?

oh that... hehe, that's some old stats I used to cyber with another girl

STALLION: dont lie, if u tell me your rEAL AGE I WILL TELL U MINE

Darth Patrick: 16!
LISTEN, I WENT TO THIS CHATROOM, AND THERE WAS THIS REALLY HOT 14-YEAR-OLD, BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO CHAT WITH SOMEONE OVER HER AGE SO I CHANGED MY DETAILS!

STALLION: oh i see, do u still have her??

Darth Patrick: no, it got boring, so I told her my real age.

Her imagination wasn't so wide. She grossed out when I wrote "I shove a lead pipe up your wet pussy"

STALLION: oh, haha, thats a pretty big age difference between u and you gf

Darth Patrick: yeah... but if she's good in bed I don't give a fuck

STALLION: haha, so i asked her if she prefers circumsized or not and she said not, so whicj are you?

Darth Patrick: I'M NOT A FUCKING JEW

STALLION: hahaaa, same here, so your not right?

Darth Patrick: no!

STALLION: me either, most girls like the ''jew way'' better though

Darth Patrick: well, if I'm to sleep with someone and she complains, I'll just take a fucking scissor and cut the fucking skin off, then we'll see who's laughing

STALLION: that would fucken kill man!!!

Darth Patrick: yes, not only would she get wet, but she'd get bloody

STALLION: lol, i know

STALLION: so how did u get my contact??

Darth Patrick: I don't remember.. some guy named chubbrock gave it to me I think

STALLION: who is that?

Darth Patrick: fuck if I know

STALLION: send me him

Darth Patrick: I deleted him, cause he was naughty

He was a fucken retard

STALLION: why?

Darth Patrick: he wasn't nice, end of story

STALLION: was he lippy?

Darth Patrick: he was gay

STALLION: like actual homosexual?

Darth Patrick: it wouldn't fucking surprise me

STALLION: did he say something about a wonder bat?

Darth Patrick: wonder bat? Is that some gay toy?

STALLION: never mind, was his name jerrycurl?

Darth Patrick: I have him on my list to, now THAT guy is annoying

STALLION: how do u have him??????

Darth Patrick: some dude named rebo or sometihng gave him to me

STALLION: max rebo??? how do u have him?

Darth Patrick: a friend of mine used to flame him, so he sent me his contact so I could flame him too

STALLION: what is flame?

Darth Patrick: calling someone fuckhead, for example

STALLION: oh like pissing them off

Darth Patrick: yeah!

STALLION: so who gave u my contact?

Darth Patrick: rebo did, now I remember, he sent me your contact and jerrycurl's

I mixed jerrycurl up with chubbrock

STALLION: oh so what did rebo do that 4?

Darth Patrick: he just said "talk to these guys"

STALLION: oh, so how did u know about samantha?

Darth Patrick: I met her 1 year ago in a horny chatroom

STALLION: no i mean how did u know about me and her?

Darth Patrick: she told me about you, what did YOU think?

hmm... I wonder if she'll show me her .45 some day... she always talks about her .45

STALLION: whats that?

Darth Patrick: a .45 caliber pistol!

She's very kinky y'know

STALLION: like a gun u mean?

Darth Patrick: yeah! a big fucking handcannon

STALLION: oh cool, so u live in seattle too?

Darth Patrick: no, I live in Salem

STALLION: who is zozoo

Darth Patrick: zozoo? that some other gay?

STALLION: how come he added me to his list? do u know him?

Darth Patrick: nah, I know no zozoo

send him to me

STALLION: i dont have him on my list, he added me to his

Darth Patrick: can't you see his # somewhere?

STALLION: hold on

Darth Patrick: k

STALLION: i cant find him anywhere, but i know i am on his list

Darth Patrick: ok... if you find his # sometime, send it to me pls.

STALLION: ok

Darth Patrick: Samantha told me you're italian, but you speak very good english, so you must be talented in languages. How many languages, besides italian and english do you know? I know english and german

STALLION: i know english, italian, french and some portuguese

Darth Patrick: whoa!

Darth Patrick: I checked your icq info... do you also know slovak, hebrew and norwegian???

STALLION: lol, no i just said that

Darth Patrick: oh.. my bad

Darth Patrick: so Samantha tells me you live in Canada.

Where in Canada?

STALLION: ontario, around toronto

Darth Patrick: so your city is called "Around Toronto"?

STALLION: no its Hamilton

Darth Patrick: 22:12 really? cool

STALLION: yep

Darth Patrick: I have relatives in London, Ontario. But that could be far away

STALLION: no thats like an hour drive

Darth Patrick: oh...

duh

Darth Patrick: ok... it sure is hot here...

what time is it in Hamilton?

STALLION: 4:30, so who are your relatives in LOndon?

Darth Patrick: my granpa and grandma

STALLION: cool

Darth Patrick: nah, I don't meet them too much. The bastards didn't even send me a christmas present

STALLION: lol, your hilarious

Darth Patrick: it's true. They could at least cough up a pair of fucking underpants

STALLION: lol

Darth Patrick: wait, your icq info says it's 17:20 over there

STALLION: its should be 16:32

Darth Patrick: uuh.. ok so what's your sexual experience like? I've heard that italians are some mean motherfuckers when it comes to sex

STALLION: I have had sex with like 4 different girls

Darth Patrick: how old are you?

STALLION: 16

Darth Patrick: ok, cool

STALLION: well, i have to go now , c ya

Darth Patrick: Hai delicato seni (You have nice jugs, in italian.) The fact that it took some time between that message and him going offline probably means that he's a fraud!

(And thus ends the long and mildly tragiocomic tale that was the great STALLION SAGA. Please tune in next time for more adventure on AOF Masterpiece Theatre! This is your host, Otto da Fé, signing off...)

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